Trail of Tears

Unless you're prepared to join me in my sadness, please stop reading now and go back to minesweeper. That said, my bike got stolen this week. As soon as I realized what had happened, I got angry, got angry with myself, and sat down not knowing what to do but feeling completely defeated. A little history:
During the summer of 2003 I was away for the summer and Jon Frederick, who had lent me his bikes a hundred times over the years, found me a Cannondale Super V at a great price. Since then I've had too many good times on that bike to remember. Riding at Glabraith, Whistler, places around Tacoma, and always with friends like Jon. Some of my best memories are on trails. Some of my best scars are from trails. In Tacoma I rode the bike to work whenever I could.
Here in DC, I rode it to school for the first week and a half. I would park it outside the building along with 20-30 other bikes everyday. My friend Hunter told me it might not be the best idea to take it in everyday but I felt ok about the bike being there with so many others. I had a good lock and many of the bikes there were nicer than mine and no better protected.
When I realized the bike was gone a wave of guilt rushed over me as I thought of someone throwing it in the back of a truck and getting $300 for it online or wherever. In general I hold my possessions with an open hand and consider myself unattached to what I own. But as I've been thinking about the bike situation I'm realizing that I do value what I own but almost more than that, I value the power I have to dispose of my possessions as I wish. If I had given the bike away, it would feel fine. If the bike had been run over or broke, I would be frustrated but as I would have the choice to fix the bike or not, I would be ok with that as well. But having that taken out of my hands is hard. It feels so invasive that someone can have that kind of power.
It also made me realize that the things we own mean so much more than just what they can do for us. The Cannondale was a downhill bike, meant to be used to bomb down steep trails and over different obstacles. But there's nothing like that within a three hour drive here. So I wouldn't really be able to use the bike for what it was meant for. It was ok for getting me to school but I was already looking for cheap commuter bike to ride instead. So losing the bike won't really affect me too badly here. I'll still get a cheap bike to ride back and forth and I won't do any down hill riding- exactly what would have happened if I still had the Cannondale. But it kills me to lose that bike because of all the memories tied up in it. I've been out riding with almost every good friend I have and Jon went out of his way to get me the bike in the first place. The bike really opened up a ton of cool outdoor stuff that I would never have gotten to see.
Kim and I are checking craigslist, ebay, pawnshops, etc. to see if the bike shows up, but I'm not holding out a lot of hope for that. I'll keep you up to date.