The Purgatory of House Hunting

I don't really vent very often but Kim and I have spent the past couple months looking for housing in DC. Admittedly, we are limiting ourselves by looking for a 2 bedroom place in the city, but it seems that those are reasonable requests. Some of our other 'must-haves' are apparently not not so easy to fulfill. For the past two days we've been talking to the owner of a great row house in an up and coming area of town. It's a beautiful place and within our budget (barely). The only problem? It's not a huge deal, just a drug related homicide last week 30 ft. from the front door. I've always felt that not dying adds a great deal to quality of life and Kim's a real stickler for the whole "let's live in a place where we don't fear for our lives" thing. So the search continues.
Also annoying is the fact that DC is completely devoid of mid range apartments. Everything with a functional ceiling that's within walking distance of running water commands outrageous prices. There are three choices for apartments: 1. Live with 7 other students in a studio apartment with no windows. The upside to this is that it's only $750 per person. 2. Rent an acceptable apartment at an unethical price 3-4 hrs. outside of DC. This option is looking distressingly attractive. 3. Take out 3 loans and promise Don Corleone both kidneys someday to rent a newly remodeled luxury apartment in the city. But aren't there any regular apartments? No. There just aren't. Apparently all of them have been remodeled into luxury apts. in the last year. I don't need granite counter tops, but I will probably have them. I would gladly trade the work out room, business center, bell hop service, presidential suite furniture and community room with huge HD tv, bar, overstuffed furniture and Monet paintings for $100 off my rent each month.
When my dad and I visited last spring we saw one apartment complex that, thanks to rent controls, was only $1500 for a very small, cheaply built 2 bedroom apartment. It was in a high density neighborhood where parking was difficult to find. A parking pass at this apartment costs $250 per month...
So Kim and I continue the search for a place to live where we won't die or be in debt until we're in a nursing home. We'll let you know what we find. We'll also let you know if we find the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, or a running game for the Seahawks.
Kim here, things are not that bleak...well not really. We will have a great life in DC even if it is "3-4 hours outside the city" or leaving us owing our first beautiful child to Don Corleone (our first ugly child can be ours).